I swore I would never speak to him again.
But, recently, all I can think of, and even fucking dream, (I fucking dream about him) is seeing him one last time.

I’m taking that, as me needing to see him. And I do. I’m trying so hard to make this new relationship work, but can’t stop thinking about him.

I think, maybe a sit down dinner, where I can get everything off my chest, and he his, if there’s anything on his part, would be ok? I honestly think, the closure of it all would give me a sense of peace, and help me move forward.

I’m wary though..
I don’t want to get to see him, and then just fall apart. Which is a possibility.

I don’t want anyone with me. Or him. I want one on one. I want to finally put this to the rest that it needs, so that I can move forward.

But, at the same time, I don’t want to compromise in my stance of, ‘you disrespected my family, I’ll never speak to you again.’ he did. He dealt a super low blow to me.

I’m conflicted. Terribly.
I know it would be, maybe a good thing.
But should I give up a promise I made to myself, for my family?

I won’t let you, close enough to hurt me…