walk with me.

I would say I’m doing just fine

I would lie, and say that you’re not on my mind,
But I go out, and I sit down, at a table set for two, and finally I’m forced to face the truth, no matter what I say, I’m, not over you.

But, somehow I manage.

I want the one thing that’s worst for me. And I want it now. Now. Now. Now. Dammit.

But I’m too cowardly.

It’s only a text away.
Coward.
Coward.
Coward.
Good.

All the drugs in this world

Today was surreal. I’ve never watched someone die before.
And I never want to see it again.

‘Mr. Basil!’

Did you ever see ‘The Great Mouse Detective’, as a child? I did. It was probably one of the scariest movies I watched as a child.

And it’s funny, because, as an adult, parts still scare me.

Other parts, are relatable.

Funny, how mice can offer guidance.

In the beginning, he builds his daughter a beautiful ballerina flower/mouse that dances.

And for a while, that was my life. A beautiful dance. But, you can only step the same way so many times before the repetition is boring.

But then, Professor Ratigan comes along and smashes the ballerina.

And.. That’s where I am. The repetition was nice, but, now I just feel like a broken toy.

I’ve felt this way for so long, that, even when the new kid came and picked me up, it just felt like he was picking up the broken pieces, and playing like they were ok.

It makes me feel bad, like, I’m trying to put broken pieces into a new box, and sell them as if nothing is damaged.

But, I don’t know what to do, with this broken toy. I know it’s not fair to give to a new owner, or, even let him take it home, eventually.

But, I don’t know what to do…

Sometimes, I hate having money. Especially when I go out.

In sitting at a bar with my drink, eye raping this menu. I don’t think I’m actually hungry. Just wanting to buy food because I can. Fail. It’s not even the drink talking because this is only number 1.

Money is baaaaaadddddd.